…why people tell lies ...लोग झूठ क्यों बोलते हैं!

झूठ मन  में एक अजीब सा भय पैदा करता  है जो व्यक्तित्व की कमज़ोरी बन जाता है1 

झूठ बोलने वाले को यह  डर सदैव लगा रहता है कि कहीं उसका झूठ पकड़ा न जाये  1

उसे यह भी याद रखना पड़ता  है कि उस दिन उसने क्या कहा था 1

सच बोलने वाले को कुछ भी याद रखने की आवयश्कता नहीं होती 1 

रिश्तों में झूठ अगर प्रवेश करने लगे तो समझ लो कि रिश्ते अब कमज़ोर होने लग गए हैं 1 
झूठ वह हथियार है जो थोड़े समय के लिए स्थिति को बिगड़ने से बचा तो लेगा, परन्तु जब यह उजागर होगा तो रिश्ते  में एक दूरी सी बन जाएगी जिसे मिटाना मुश्किल हो जायेगा1

 कहा जाता है कि झूठ अधिक देर तक सच के सामने टिक नहीं सकता १ यह बात बिलकुल सच है1

अब प्रश्न उठता है कि लोग झूठ का सहारा क्यों लेते हैं?

उपरोक्त प्रश्न का उत्तर बाद में ढूढेंगे, पहले कुछ उदहारण लेते हैं1 

अध्यापक के सामने कुछ विद्यार्थी तरह तरह के झूठ बोलते हैं1

वे सब झूठ पकडे जाते हैं जब अध्यापक अभिभावकों से सीधे बात कर लेते हैं1 फिर वे विद्यार्थी अपना  सर झुका कर खड़े हो जायेंगे और शर्मिंदगी महसूस करेंगे1

 विद्यार्थी इस लिए झूठ बोलते हैं क्योंकि  वे सोचते हैं कि अध्यापक का वे आसानी से बेवकूफ  बना देंगे और वे उनके माता-पिता से बात नहीं करेंगे1

 यह भी सच नहीं है कि हम सब सदैव सच बोलते हैं...शायद घर में जब बच्चा पलता और बड़ा होता है तो झूठ बोलने कि शिक्षा उसे वहीँ मिल जाती है 1

ऐसे में झूठ बोलने वाले विद्यार्थियों के बारे  में और क्या कहा जाये, यह सोचने का विषय है 1

 जब रिश्तों में झूठ बोला जाता है तो गंभीर विषय बन जाता है क्यूंकि वहां ट्रस्ट क़ी बात होती है 1

पति या पत्नी  अगर यह पूछें कि किसका फोन अटेंड किया था.....वह कहाँ गया था या गयी थी ...और यदि पति या पत्नी यहाँ झूठ बोले तो मेरी दृष्टि में यह सही बात नहीं है 
उसी वक़्त न बताया जाये तो   कोई बात नहीं, बाद में बता दिया जाये....परन्तु झूठ नहीं १ 

कई बार बोलने वाला इस लिए भी झूठ बोलने लग जाता है कि सुनने वाले में सच सुनने की सहनशक्ति नहीं होती1

सच सुन कर वह यदि चीखने लगे या हिंसक हो जाये, तो भी झूठ का सहारा लिया जाता है1

कुछ झूठ किसी की सहायता करने के लिए भी लोग बोलते हैं1

यदि सहायता उचित है और उस सहायता से किसी पर बुरा प्रभाव 

नहीं पड़  रहा तो लोग ऐसे झूठ को बुरा नहीं समझते

क्या यह संभव है कि सभी लोग सच बोलने लग जाएँ?

मुझे नहीं लगता कि लोग ऐसा करने लग जायेंगे, विशेषतौर पर 

जब लोग इसी तलाश में होते हैं कि कब किसी की कोई कमज़ोरी 

उनके हाथ लग जाये1  

इसका अर्थ यह हुआ कि हम खुली किताब नहीं हो सकते1

तो लोग क्यों कहते हैं कि झूठ नहीं बोलना चाहिए?

बस यही ध्यान रखना होगा कि झूठ कितना, कैसा और कहाँ बोलना है !!!

लोग अपना स्वार्थ पूरा करने के लिए झूठ बोलते हैं1

इस लिए झूठ बोलने वालों से चौकस रहना ही समझदारी होगा1  

 Lie creates a very strange type of fear in mind. It also weakens one’s personality.

The person is always afraid lest his/her lie should be caught. He has to remain alert and remember the lie he had spoken.

A truthful person doesn’t have to remember what he had said.

If lie enters into relationship, one needs to understand that the edifice of relationship may crumble any time.

Lie is an instrument that can save a situation from being aggravated; but it would create a wide gap between or among persons when it comes to the fore.  
Then it would be difficult to remove that gap. It is said that lie cannot face the Truth for more time. 
It is a fact indeed. It is said that lie cannot face the Truth for more time. It is a fact indeed. 
Now the question arises as to why people tell lies. 

Some students tell lie in front of the teachers creating different situations. Their lie is exposed when the teachers directly contact their parents to ascertain what their wards are narrating. 
Then those students stand in front of the whole class and feel embarrassed.

Students tell lies because they have an illusion that they would be-fool their teachers easily on the presumption that the teachers would not bother to inquire about anything from their parents.

Lie generates a strange type of fear in the mind of the person and it also hampers the normal development of positivism in the personality.

He or she is always under the fear of being exposed anytime.

He also has to remember as to what he had said on the previous time.

A truthful person does not have to remember anything.

This is not true that we always speak the truth.
 A child grows up in a family and it is there he gets the training of telling lie.

In such a situation  what to say about the student who, as a child, has already got the training of telling lie.

When people tell lies in relationships, it is a serious matter because trust is at stake in that situation.

 If the wife tells lie when asked by her husband about whose telephone she was attending or where she had gone for such a long time, what will be the outcome?

People tell lies due to their selfish motives and this is always devastating to any kind of relationship. So, the need is to be alert about liars!

Many a time, the speaker tells a lie because the listener has no tolerance to listen to the truth. He or she starts shouting loudly or becomes violent after listening to the truth.

So, in such situation also, people start telling lies.

Some people tell lies to help others. If the help is appropriate and it does not affect any other person, people in general do not think it bad.

  

Is it possible that all the people start speaking the truth?

I do not think that people would ever start doing this, especially when there are people are always in the look out to get some weak points of others. It means that we cannot be an open book to anyone.

In that case, why do people say that lie should not be told?

The only precaution to take is to see as to how much, how and where the lie is to be used!!!

Tips For Becoming A Good Speaker

Tips For Becoming A Good  Speaker

We all know that we convey our thoughts through our speech.

Therefore, almost all of us want to become very good speakers in order to convey our thoughts to others in a very effective manner.

There are certain tips for improving the art of speaking.

1.Very good knowledge about the grammar of the language you speak

First of all, the basic structures of the language you speak must be clear to you.

2.Your sentences should be grammatically correct. 

Do not use any slang in your formal language.

3.Moderate Pitch of Voice

The pitch or the scale of your voice should be moderate: neither too high nor too low.

The listener should be able to understand easily what you speak. Some people speak at a very high pitch of their voice. It is very irritating and harmful to the listener.

·  The speaker cannot produce a desired effect on the listener if he or she speaks at a high pitch of voice.

·  Similarly, speaking at a low pitch of voice is not effective because the listener is not able to understand what you want to convey.

4.Tempo of the speech

 Moderate Tempo of the Speech

 It should be neither too fast nor too slow.

 When the speaker is very fast, the listener would feel difficulty to understand the meaning

 of the sentences.

If the speaker is very much slow, it  may cause dullness and laziness to the listener. Long pauses in speech may be irritating to the listener.  

If there are pauses, the speaker should have a practice for filling up those gaps with some common gap fillers like: ‘I mean to say, as you know, what you call it, okay…., hum……, well…., etc.

5.No touch of regional language

In our country, several regional languages are spoken. If the speaker uses the tinge of any regional language, the beauty of the language is spoilt.

Suppose the speaker is speaking English language and he is speaking it in Haryanvi or Punjabi style, you may well imagine the fate of English being spoken.

It is also true that it is very difficult to keep the purity of English spoken as a second language, but still, efforts can be made to speak it with the right pronunciation of the words.

If you are to speak Hindi, speak it with purity. Similarly you can speak other languages with purity.

6.Proper Delivery of the Words

When we speak words, we should keep in mind that we are doing full justice to the words we speak.

It means that we should speak full words and by giving them full energetic throw.

We should not  drop the sound of the last syllables in our sentences.

Some people may be doing this unintentionally because they do not know the fact that they are dropping the sound of last syllables.

For example, you want to pronounce the word ‘education’, splendid, determined, you must speak them correctly.

7.When you are speaking in a flow, sometimes you will have to squeeze or stretch certain words to give your speech a fluency.

For example:

Read the sentences:

 ‘A good conversation does not include the topics about  kitchen, the best cleansers, business, bus-time tables and several other dull topics.’

After squeezing and stretching:

‘Agoodconversation अगुडकनवशेशन (noun phrase as the subject) doesn’-tinclude- डजन्टइन्क्लूड

thetopicsabout-kitchen दटॉपिक्सअबाउटकिचन,

thebestcleansers,business,bus-timetables andseveralotherdulltopics.’

    द बेस्ट क्लिंजेर्स बसटाइमटेबल्स

    एनसेवरलअदअडलटॉपिक्स

7.Practice of short and long vowel sounds to give the clarity to the words spoken

For example

The vowel sounds in the following words:

 (i) about अबाउट, glass ग्लास , bad बैड, bus बस, bird ब्अड,

 (ii) bed बेड

(iii) sit सिट, seat सीट

(iv) Dog डॉग

(vii) ball बोल

 (viii)Book बुक

(ix)Root रूट

Diphthongs:

 1. sheer शीअ(र)

2. How हाउ

3. Fate फेईट

4.Rare  रेअ(र)

5. Tour टूअ(र)

6. Site साईट

7. Joy जोई

8. so सउ

8.Self Confidence: This is very important for all kinds of speakers.

If there is no self confidence, you cannot think of becoming a very good speaker.

The reasons for having less confidence:

1. Feeling shy: If you feel shy of speaking in front of others, it means you need exposure.

(a)  It seems that your parents and teachers did not encourage you to speak in front of others or they might not have noticed your weakness of feeling shy. With the passage of time, it continued growing within you.

Whatever be its reasons, you must remove your shyness and come out of it immediately if you wish to change your personality.

Suggestions:

a.  Start interacting with the members of your      family immediately. Never feel shy of                speaking to your father, mother, sister,            brother, cousins and all.

b. Always try finding out opportunities to                   speak to others.

 c. When you meet others in a family function,            be friendly with them.

    d. Do not wait for the time that they will                       start conversing with you.

     e.Be an initiator. Begin your conversation                     about anything like weather, about day-to-               day events or the politics of your country.

In this manner your shyness would be removed within a short period.

 There may be some other reasons for your feeling   hesitant of speaking in front of others.

1. You may be a victim of inferiority complex.
2. You may be thinking that you will not be able to express your ideas properly or in a better way in front of people.
3. You may compare yourself with others to find good points in them, but, at the same time, imbibe those good points in you but never get overwhelmed by the persons who possess them. It means you must not feel inferior to them.
4. If you do so, you will be a victim of your own weak points.

What are those weak points that you may think about?

     (i) You may think that your voice quality is poorer than those of  others.

Okay…! It may be poorer but you may improve your voice quality. It is very easy. 

a.Another point you may think about is that the person to whom you are speaking to is very learned, qualified or a rich person or may be your superior or boss or maybe your teacher.

b.You must come out of your imaginary fears that you will not be able to express your views in front of such people.

c.Be confident and start speaking before them whenever you get proper chance.

d.Believe me that they will be pleased to see that you are speaking and sharing your views in front of them with them.

e.In the beginning you may speak not in a coherent way, after a few efforts you will feel natural and confident in front of them.

f.But never give up! Keep your will power always strong and alive.

g.Always remember that you want to become a very good speaker.

h.Some of you may also think that you have not a good command over the language you want to speak, particularly English and Hindi.

      Do not worry, you just start speaking and side by       side try to pick up the commonly spoken                   sentences and phrases.

j.Load your Hindi sentences with words in the beginning and then with phrases or half sentences( Principal or subordinate clauses).

In this way you will become habitual of using English in your sentences.

k.Think every action in English.

l.Create a permanent zeal for speaking the language of your choice and within a couple of weeks you will see the improvement within you.

m.Sometimes the impact of the regional language may come in the language you want to speak. Try to remain conscious or alert about it for some days.

 After a few days, you may be able to remove the impact of the regional language.

But it needs constant effort on your part.

Very often, I have seen that some students hesitate to speak with others because they do not have full knowledge about the topic being discussed.

In that case, keeping silent is their natural choice.

If this is also your case, you must keep updating yourselves about the current issues that are often discussed by people.

If some students discuss about movies, you must get knowledge about the latest or the old movies. It adds to your general knowledge.

If your friends sometimes discuss about music, you also increase your knowledge about music. For example, they may talk about pop singers, ghazal singers, etc.

Similarly you must update your knowledge about sports, history, politics, etc. to enhance your knowledge.

   It means a very good speaker must have a very      good knowledge about several areas of general  

   knowledge.

   It also means that many of the students or the        people remain silent in most of the situations  

   because they have nothing to say.

   Sometimes it may also happen with you that you    want to say something that is already said by

   others who are present before you.

   Never mind! Such type of situation may arise          very often with anyone. I have read somewhere      that

   Gandhi ji faced the same type of problem when      he was a student of law in England.

   Try thinking very different from others. Be      natural in your responses.

•  Speak what you feel very close to your heart.

•  Be natural in your expression. Do not cram the subject matter on which you want to speak.

•  Keep some points or ideas in your mind and then explain them one by one.

Steps to boost your confidence in speaking:

Suppose you have a very good knowledge about the current issues and general knowledge, but still you hesitate to take part in a discussion or speak in front of your class and teacher or in the morning assembly